Karaoke Time!
by mwuh-awesome
Summary: Roy should really learn to stop making bets with Ed... it never ends well... rated T for a few words, cause I'm paranoid. One-shot.


"I _do not_ sing, Mustang," Ed growled.

"So you forfeit, then?" asked Roy, the beginnings of a smirk playing at his lips.

Ed paused for a moment, weighing up his opinions. To forfeit would be to surrender, to run away, and he, Edward Elric; Fullmetal Alchemist; Hero of the People; Dog of the military; kicker of Truth's ass, did _not_ under _any_ circumstances, run away.

"Never!" he shrieked.

"Oh? So you'll sing in front of everyone then?" Roy asked as he leaned back in his chair, enjoyed the confliction passing across his youngest subordinates face.

"Crap," Ed muttered under his breath before going on to say in a louder voice, "Fine… fine, I'll sing. But what are you going to do if I win? I know this a bet and all, but if I win-"

"Who says your gunna win?" Roy said, "You have to actually get people to say your _good_ before you can win."

"And I will!" Ed said, "Just you wait! And when I do you'll have to, um… do fifty laps around the training oval outside!"

"Sound easy enough."

"While," Ed continued, "dressed as a maid."

Roy swore under his breath.

"Whats wrong, Colonel Asshole?" Ed teased, a large shit-eating grin spreading over his face, "Chicken?"

Ed knew very well that Roy had just a big of an ego as he did and he used that to his advantage. Neither man wanted to seem weak or cowardly in front of the other and both knew that; both sought to use that against the other.

"Fine but if-No. Sorry, _when_ you lose, you have to do the same."

"Done!"

Ed quickly slammed his report down on the Colonel's desk and fled to the door, not wanting to spend even a minute longer with the Bastard.

"See you tomorrow, Fullmetal!" Roy shouted to the turned back of his subordinate, "I'll tell everyone to show up!" he changed his voice to a low mutter, "but I doubt they could see you even if they did…"

Roy had to dive under his desk to avoid the sudden automail fist. For the first, and possibly only, time he was strangely glad Hawkeye hated his procrastinating tendencies. At least if taught him how to duck.

* * *

"WHAT!"

"Um, I said Nii-san is a good singer, sir," a now-human Alphonse told Roy timidly.

"I NOW WHAT YOU SAID!"

"Then why-"

"I think the Colonel is displaying an intense form of sudden shock crossed with horror, Mister Elric," Falman said stonily from his desk, not even bothering to look up from his paperwork.

"Huh?" Al said unintelligently.

"Shock: a sudden upsetting or surprising event or-"

"He knows what shock is, Falman," Riza said from her position behind Roy who was still in a state of shock, his eyes glued to Al in disbelief and his mouth wide open, "What I think young Alphonse was referring to is your robot-like language."

A loud and defeated groan, almost a sob, turned all three heads to the Colonel who was currently face-down on his desk.

"Why," he asked, "does this always happen to me?"

"Sir, I-"

"I DON'T WANNA WEAR A MAID'S UNIFORM!"

Hawkeye sighed tersely, "That is why you should not wage a bet on military time, especially with Edward."

"And you know he'll make it frilly!" he cried, his voice full of desperation and misery, "and he'll make it unbearably short!"

"Probably add lace to," added Riza.

"DEAR GOD!"

"He made a bet with Nii-san, didn't he?"

Riza nodded at Al who sighed at Roy, "Even I don't make bets with my brother. He'll do _anything_ to win."

"That's it!" Roy said, finally raising his head, "I just gotta do whatever I can to win!"

And with that, he jumped up and raced to the door. He paused, his hand hovering over the knob, and said, "Thanks, Alphonse. I'm going to go set up the karaoke machine."

* * *

"Crap, the Colonel sure made sure to get a large crowd, didn't he?" asked Ed nervously, "I guess word travels fast in the military. The whole base has got to be here!"

"The Fuhrer's here too," Al told his brother. The two Elrics stood off to the side, looking around in awe at the massive amount of people hovering around the stage.

"And General Armstrong!"

"I thought she was posted up in brigs?"

"Apparently not," Ed swallowed roughly.

"Nervous, Nii-san?"

Ed's chuckle was shaky and definitely off, "Course not!"

"Ready, Pipsqueak?" came Mustang's call from off to the side.

Ed gave Al one last shaky grin ("You'll be great, Nii-san! Knock 'em dead!") before taking center stage.

"I made sure to pick a… special song. Just for you, Fullmetal."

"Just play the damn song, already!" he snapped at Roy.

As the first notes began to play (a soft melody that had Ed cringing) the entire crowd quieted until one soldier called out; "Hey! Whats up with the title?"

Ed turned around and cursed. He should have realized Mustang would pull something like this.

"You did say _any_ song, Fullmetal!" Roy yelled from of to the side, "Can't wait to see you in that maid costume!"

Suddenly the soft notes picked up and became a fast rock song, something that had Ed sighing with relief. He turned slightly to read the lyrics, placing his lips to the microphone when it indictated he was to sing. It seemed that the song lacked vocals and he would be on his own with pronunciation. He opened his mouth and began:

"Howaitoboodo de hishimekiau rakugaki jiyuu na negaigoto houkago no chaimu yuuhi ni hibiite mo Yumemiru pawaa disurenai ne ainiku!"

Roy's jaw dropped open for the second time that day as he stared at Ed wide-eyed. From the sidelines, Al gave a loud cheer of encouragement.

"Let's sing motto motto motto koe takaku kuchibiru ni kibou tazusaete waado hanatsu sono tabi hikari ni naru watashi tachi no kakera!"

Ed grinned wider as Roy griped his hair and let out a yell that was drowned at by the music.

"Omoide nante iranai yo datte ima tsuyoku, fukaku aishiteru kara omoide hitaru otona no you na kanbi na zeitaku mada chotto enryoshitai no!"

"Didn't you know, sir?" Hawkeye asked, sliding over to Roy's side, "Edward speaks six languages."

"I heard from his brother that it was seven," Havoc added, stepping up to Roy's other side.

"And you didn't tell me, because…"

"Why Colonel…" Riza smiled.

"Kokoro no nooto maakaa hikimidarete Osareru to nakisou na pointo bakka Itami yorokobi minna to iru to Mugen no ribaavu de sasaru fushigi!"

"You never asked."

* * *

AN: If your wondering what the song is, it's No, Thank You from K-ON.

I hope you like this and make sure to tell me if you do!


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